Feeling Their Presence

I sprang awake this morning at 5 am with the strange compulsion to write my will, the contents of which I had just dreamed of in their entirety. Never before had I considered writing a will, but the season of death and getting cozy with your ancestors will do that to you.

I also awoke with an incredible hunger (silly baby!).

My fiancé doesn’t think much of the idea of a spirit inhabiting a body so young–he thinks that several spirits will come and go, taking a peek at us and seeing if this new body is the right home for them, and that I can banish them and wait for another if I wish–but since very, very early on (even before a test confirmed my pregnancy!), I’ve felt the presence of one strong spirit in particular. It’s a gentle, firm, masculine energy, which has convinced me that the body growing inside me is a boy, but we won’t know for another few weeks–and it’s always possible that that spirit will choose a girl’s body; I can’t know for certain and it does me no good to ponder it.

It is interesting to work with the ancestors to protect the future generation. The kindreds (the gods, dead, and land spirits) and I had a great conversation over the feast at my Samhain rite, and naturally the conversation drifted to the new child in my womb. Aenghus seemed excited and cracked jokes with me about it. I vowed over our stew and bread that this child would know the gods, and therefore respect the ancestors, as knowing the gods brings with it a passion for history and what came before; and love the Earth and so show respect for the spirits of the land. Having worked with the gods for 10 years now and my practice expanding to encompass the land spirits and the dead at some point in there, I have become very familiar with the blessing that is simply walking with the kindreds. When you honor them, make sacrifices and offerings, and observe your holy days, good and magical things simply “happen” to you. I remember that when my ability to shapeshift and walk between the worlds was vastly improved through much practice and study when I was living in Virginia, I would stumble across things like roadkill and perfect pieces of wood to be cleaned and carved and incorporated into my practice every day. I could sing with the birds and see the dead. It was incredible. (I miss living in such a wild place more than a little!)

Naturally this is not the reason we honor the kindreds (though it does give us further reason to honor them, in our gratitude), but it does make you feel blessed, so I know I and my child have a bit of protection from the kindreds with whom I work. Tonight I intend to seal the deal by charming a protective amulet to wear throughout my pregnancy and which I will keep on my child’s person and crib after he (or she) arrives, too.

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